High Jinx - Fight!
Now what I'm not really talking about here is
"pistols at dawn" or a proper fight with fists, nails and name
calling.
I talk mainly of causing injury to work
colleagues usually by accident or due to inter-departmental rivalry.
As a member of the "Technical Support" team we
shared a floor with the engineering department.
They thought of us as the "Egg head" technical
types and we thought of them as the "monkeys with screwdrivers".
We looked after all of the software problems and
they took on the hardware side of things. It was a perfect
arrangement but of course that didn't mean there wasn't some
kind of rivalry between our departments.
Us "techies" knew we were the best and more
important department, it was just sometimes we had to make the
engineering department aware of this fact too.
Friday Afternoon "Rag Fight"
As in many companies by the time Friday afternoon arrived the company was starting to wind down.
The weekend was almost upon us and really
nobody wanted to do much in the way of work. This gave us the
perfect time for the two departments sharing a floor to wage war
on one another, each side attempting to beat the other into
total submission and attempting to make them squeal the words we
so wanted to hear "OK, your department is best".
I really do not know the origins of the near
weekly "Rag Fight". It just happened one week and continued for
many more weeks as a way to let of steam on a Friday afternoon.
The battle plans were very simple. We had a
massive box of "Rags" which we used for cleaning down computer
equipment. However once a rag was taken from the box and then
tied into a tight knot it made a rather impressive missile, one
that if aimed correctly could cause harm and damage to the
"enemy".
So this is what we did, we collected a nice
pile of rage from the box and spent a little time making sure
they were well knotted and would cause damage and pain. Then,
with no warning and no declaration of war we would simply walk
into the enemies department and pelt them all with tightly
knotted rags of doom.
With any kind of luck the initial volley would be
enough to throw the enemy off. If they had taken substantial
casualties then a return attack would take time, however it
would come as they would be wanting revenge.
Both sides took nasty injuries during the
battles. A hit to the face or eye was not uncommon and we had
numerous nose bleeds. A hit to the groin with the speed these
things were travelling at were very much "critical hits" and
usually resulted in the end of the war for that particular person.
The battles became more advanced as they went
on. Weeks after the first attack chairs on coasters would be
used as moveable shields and a row of these formed a very
effective shield for the whole department. Two or more rage were
knotted together to form "super bombs" and it was only a matter
of time before we potentially had chemical weapons too (the
toilet was on the same floor as us).
To this day I cannot tell you which department
was the eventual winner. I'd like to think it was us "techies"
as we always were and remain the "better department".
Civilian Casualties
As with all wars there was always the chance of civilian casualties, this is unfortunately unavoidable.
Civilians came in two forms, people from other
departments in the building such as stock control, showroom
sales, corporate sales etc.
There was also another tribe of civilians known
as "customers" and it wasn't unheard of them to bare witness to
the battles fought on our floor.
People from other departments wandering onto
the technology floor were asking for trouble. It was not a case
of "accidental civilian casualties" in this situation, they were
attached by both warring factions. Many a showroom salesperson
would leave the floor in a hurry after being pelted by rags from
both sides of the conflict.
Sometimes a brave corporate salesman might decide
to throw a rag back at an engineer or "techie" - it was usually
the last thing they did before they were seen fleeing.
Due to the layout of the floor and the fact
that customers did need to get up to us to collect machines that
were in for repair there was always the chance a stray "rag"
would go in the direction of them.
Many a time a customer would be forced to jump
out of the way of a flying rag aiming for the door. Once a
customer was spotted a temporary truce was usually called, just
long enough for the customers machine to be returned. Then it
was back to war.
It is interesting to note that not one customer
filed a complaint against us because of the stray rags, they
obviously didn't mind!
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