It has been brought to our attention that some individuals have been using foul language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from some of the employees, who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
However, we do realise the importance of staff being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with other employees. With this is mind, the Human Resources department have compiled a list of code phrase replacements, so the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risking offence to our more sensitive co-workers.
| Old Phrase | New Phrase |
| No Fucking Way | I'm fairly sure that's not feasible |
| You're Fucking Kidding | Really! |
| Tell somebody who gives a fuck | I have to run that by........... |
| No cunt told me | I wasn't involved in that work |
| I don't have the fucking time | Perhaps I can work late |
| Who fucking cares | Are you sure that's a problem? |
| Eat shit and die | You don't say |
| Eat shit and die motherfucker | You don't say, Sir! |
| Kiss my ass | So you would like to help me? |
| He's a fucking prick | He's somewhat insensitive |
| She's a ball-busting bitch | She's an aggressive go-getter |
| You haven't got a fucking clue | You could use a little more training |
| This place is fucked | We're a little disorganised today |
| What sort of fuck-wit are you? | You're new here aren't you? |
| Fuck off shit head | Well there you go |
| You're a fucking wanker | You're my supervisor and I respect you |
| Fuck off | I'll look into it and get back to you |
| Fuck off you dickhead | I no longer require your assistance |
| How did you get this piece of shit to work? | Well done! |
| You fucking loser | Gee that was unfortunate |
